Friday, April 28, 2017

Faking It: Don't

I overheard a group of women discussing the taboo topic of faking it. I shamelessly eavesdropped because... obviously. But I can't help wonder why any woman would ever fake having an orgasm. What is the point? If you fake it, your partner thinks he's doing an amazing job, and you're guaranteeing more of the same next time. 

I asked around, and here are a few reasons some of you might be faking it:

I just want it to be over. 

Legit. This is a thing! He's pumping away, the laundry needs to be switched in five minutes, and you're almost sure the kids will knock on your bedroom door any minute. You might be thinking to yourself that if you fake it, it will drive him over the edge and we can be done with this. 

Don't do it! Instead whisper something sexy in his ear and let him finish. Don't be afraid to tell him you didn't get there either. It's okay if you don't orgasm every time you have sex. Sometimes it's more about the connection than the big finish. 

I'm just not that in to him. 

You go on a few dates and decide that this guy is worthy of that expensive lingerie you bought. You're finally in his apartment and you've seen his bachelor pad (omg) or his extensive limited edition Beanie Babies collection.   

Seriously? If you're not that into him, just leave. It's okay. Really. You're never going to see him again anyway, so why would you put yourself through that? 

He's taking too long. 

The Marathon Man can be tedious and, if you're not excited enough, kind of painful. He's panting, sweaty, and shows no sign of stopping soon. Meanwhile, you've mentally checked out and you're getting a cramp in your right leg. 

Time to give him a little push. Whether it's a push off of you or your secret weapon (kegels), you do not have to endure an endless session of sweaty sex just because he has the stamina of a career triathlete.  

He's doing it wrong. 

Every guy likes to think he's got a sexy move up his sleeve that you've never experienced before. Sometimes these sexy moves are almost comical in their execution, and it's difficult to keep a straight face. Remind me some time to tell you about the guy who timed himself doing this thing with his tongue for exactly one minute and forty-five seconds. I'm serious. A timer. I can't make this shit up. 

Feedback is not only okay, it's critical. Tell your partner to keep doing something you like, or to move a little higher, or not so hard. Do not be afraid of damaging his ego. Men actually want to do a good job, and sometimes your breathy moans aren't enough. Speak up. Tell him what feels good. You can even show him! 

Faking it only hurts you in the long run. If you're screaming like a banshee and writhing all over the bed (let's not overdo it, Janes), you should have a mind-blowing orgasm to go with it. Otherwise, you're cheating yourself and your partner on giving you pleasure. 

I mean, come on! You shaved your legs and probably got waxed for this for cryin' out loud. Make it worth it! Speak up, take charge, and own your sexual experience.

#goddess #stayunchained #unchainedAF 

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