Thursday, April 6, 2017

Big Girl Pants

As parents, we definitely face challenges and unexpected questions. In the past, I thought that the most difficult question I would endure would be where do babies come from? Boy, was I wrong.

Recently, my youngest daughter (she is 11) approached me about living with her dad. Talk about a conversation that takes your breath away and squeezes your heart! I never in a million years thought she would ask me this question, but she did. Initially, I wanted to brush it under the rug. It wasn't even a possibility because, amongst other things, her dad's house was not big enough.

Then she asked me a second time.

At that point, I had a serious conversation with her. I asked her why she wanted to move there, and if she had discussed it with her dad. She explained to me that she really missed her dad and her little brothers, who she loves to spend time with. We went over the pros and cons of her moving in with him. And at the end of the day, she still wanted to live with her dad when he moves to a new house. Then I had a positive talk with my ex and his wife about our daughter's request. We agreed that when their living situation changed, we would allow the switch to happen if she still wanted it.

I want to provide my daughter with the options and knowledge to make big choices. But this decision weighs heavily on my heart. I was shocked that she even considered it, but I also understood. I would not be a good parent if I didn't allow her to explore her options. I certainly didn't want her to feel like I was keeping her from her family either. Foturnately, I have a good relationship with her father and stepmom, so we could agree to find ways to work through this.

When the time comes, I will allow my daughter the opportunity to live with her father. As difficult as it is for me, I want her to have the best of both worlds no matter what that takes.

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