Thursday, March 16, 2017

Get Back To You



Motherhood has many stages. New mommies are overtired, stressed, full of wonder, joy, and exasperation. We evolve into moms of school-agers and experience a new kind of exasperation with homework, peer drama, and the fight for independence. Parenting teens is when we begin to let go. We start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and reflect back (hopefully) on a youth well-spent raising thoughtful, productive, amazing young adults.

This is the time we begin to reclaim ourselves as women. The chicks are flying the coop and adulting on their own. Now is the time to embrace your own dreams to travel, or take up a new hobby, or act like a horny teenager with your significant other.

It's time to get your sexy back, girl!


But that transition is pretty difficult, isn't it? For so many years, our identity as women is sidelined by our identity as mothers. We almost don't know who we are when we're no longer raising children full time. We will always be mothers, but as our children grow up, move out and begin their adult lives, that role changes. We have to rediscover ourselves, new versions of who we are that aren't centered around the successes and failures of our children.

The hardest part is battling the feeling that we're being selfish. Letting go of our kids is one thing. Focusing on ourselves is something else entirely. You must remind yourself that it's okay to be selfish. It's okay to think about yourself for a change. It's okay to not answer their phone calls and to tell them that you're too busy for a visit this weekend.

My babies are still my greatest accomplishment and the source of so much of my joy. But now it's time to live for me. It's time for me to enjoy being a woman. I've been a mother all my adult life and soon, in about eight months, I will be a grandmother for the first time. I will get to enjoy all the parts of having a new baby in my life, without all of the responsibility, the doubt, and the fear.

It's the next step in my journey as a mother. It's a new rite of passage, and I can't wait. I'm going to be the sexiest, coolest, most doting Mimi y'all have ever seen. I'm going to rock this shit.

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