Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Oh, You're a "SLUT?" No. You're A Sexual Badass.




Dear sexy girl, dirty slut, vestal virgin, trashy hoe, nasty chick, sex bomb, wondrous fucking female goddess:

First things first, I love you... and I owe you an apology - a gigantic, no excuses, public reparation. This act of contrition comes straight from my heart. I offer this to you on behalf of myself and all of humanity.

I don't give a flying fuck if your black book has 2,000+ names in it (which you rated with tiny penis-shaped stars for prowess, status, size, or lack thereof); you are not a slut. You are amazing. You are not trashy; you are sensual. You are not defined by the number of sexual partners you have or don't have. You, lovely creature, are not defined by how short your skirt is or by the amount of cleavage, midriff, or leg you display. Nor by how much alcohol you drink or don't drink, or what drugs you do or don't do. Whether you are a shameless flirt or painfully shy. Whether you shake your ass or are Mary Poppins-style prim and proper. NONE - not one fucking iota - of that shit speaks to who you fucking are, what your soul looks like, what your spirit endures, or what you "deserve" from this world.

I don't care if your momma, sister, friend, enemy, daddy, fuck-buddy, neighbor, teacher, boyfriend, husband, or pastor says it. You are NOT a slut.

I could psychoanalyze why some females enjoy sex more than others, why some women turn to sex to cope with being sexually or physically abused, or why some women feel more comfortable wearing sexier clothing than others. I could provide data to explain why some girls who have legitimate daddy issues seek out male attention and love through sex, but I'm not going to do that. Those things do matter but not pertinent to this article.

The mindsets which attempt to attack females with slut-shaming are rooted in one of the following factors: jealousy, insecurity, or ignorance. All of these factors originate from one place: FEAR. People who label you are passing judgment based on their own fears. Maybe your beauty intimidates them. Maybe someone slut-shamed them and they are passing that onto you out of misguided anger. Maybe they're jealous of your confident sexuality and insulting you makes them feel better. Maybe they are victims of sexual assault and worry something similar might happen to you and are unaware that sexual assault has nothing to do with a woman's appearance.

I'm not explaining why people slut-shame to encourage you to forgive them or to excuse their behavior. I want to focus on the culprits here, rather than their victims. Understand that these perpetrators are sad, sick, insecure, and ignorant. I want you to understand their motives to prove to you that their ugly words, vile thoughts, and judgmental opinions are not valid truths and have nothing to do with your truths, regardless of how you dress, your sexual partners, or whether it was consensual or rape. Some people in our society will judge, condemn, and choose ignorance until the end of time. Sadly, slut-shaming is here to stay. I want you to know that their ignorance has everything to do with them and only them. It doesn't have a single fucking thing to do with you.

Think of my words as your own personal Tide Stain Stick to carry with you to remove the slur and the sting from slut-shaming. Now that you know this truth, you have the power to take their opinions and throw them in the trash. Where they belong.

And, pretty please, toss that shit immediately before you allow even a smudge of that filth onto your untamed spirit, your wild heart, your magnificent self-esteem, your fabulous confidence, or your stunning sexy red dress.

With love and sincerest apologies,

Chloe Jane

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