Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Tattoos Pair Well With Food

I consider myself a fairly tough chick. I've had babies, kidney stones, and tattoos. I understand physical pain. Yes. I'm a badass. Or so I thought.

I had to reschedule a new tattoo appointment several times because of lost info and various other bumps in the road. The day finally came for me to get the tattoo done, and, this time, it was actually going to happen. It had been a hectic, awful day at work, and I hadn't had much time to eat. My sweet husband picked me up, and we got a quick bite because one of the questions on the pre-tattoo checklist is, "Have you eaten in the last 4 hours?"

I tried to do the right thing.

I got to the tattoo shop, and I was still dealing with work mess and my artist was running late. So my anxiety had plenty of time to build. (Side note—I forgot to take my Zoloft today.)

So we finally got this tattoo thing going and, HOLY SHIT!, it was intense. We were just doing the outline and O.M.G. About an hour in, I started thinking that my body was absolutely getting the hang of it. I was so sleepy. My hands were a bit tingly. Then, I was all of a sudden nauseous. I asked my husband for a drink, thinking maybe I was just thirsty.

And then…nothing. I passed the fuck out.

Apparently, I was out for about 5 minutes. As soon as I said that I was tingly, my tattoo artist knew I was going out. I've been told that he even said so. I didn't hit the ground because he and my husband braced me, and I didn't come to until my man got in my face and yelled at me. I don't remember that either. I woke up like nothing had happened. It's quite possibly one of the funniest and most embarrassing things that I have ever done.

After I woke up and drank a delicious, full-of-sugar Coke, we started again. An entire hour of breath-catching pain elapsed while both my artist and husband kept asking me if I'm gonna pass out again.

It's going to be a gorgeous tattoo. I go back for color in a few weeks. I shall eat all the things that day. All of them. And while I get this tattoo, I will drink Coke and eat chips. And after I'm done, I will demand that my man takes me for ice cream.

Eat before you tattoo, fellow "badasses." That is all.

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