Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Single Ladies, It's Time to Quit Looking

Dry spell. A perfect phrase for what my dating life had been like…until recently. I’ve been single for a while now. I haven’t had much of a desire to date. The options locally and online were not up to par, so I didn’t mind the tumbleweeds blowing through my life (and my vagina) at this point. I was in a pretty crummy relationship that ended about a year ago, and I decided I needed to take some time for myself.

I have been embracing the single life and just doing me. I was coming to terms with the idea that being single wasn’t such a bad thing. I was learning to enjoy time by myself and enjoy doing whatever the hell I wanted, whenever I wanted. Sure, I had some hit-or-miss dates. I really know how to pick 'em, let me tell you.

Ghosting? Apparently, that’s becoming a more popular thing. Ghosting happens when the person you're dating just fucking disappears. No warning. Just vanishes. Things were going along great with this one guy, and we were planning a long weekend together. Then, I got an excuse as to why he had to cancel last minute - like, I was putting my bag in my car and getting ready to drive the hour and a half to see him. Family emergency or some bullshit like that. Needless to say, I never heard from him again. What kind of a person does that? Clearly someone who has no balls. Over it. Bye, Felicia!

After that, I was talking to someone from my teenage days. That was very short-lived. He could carry on a good conversation - via text message. Let’s just say, keeping up with texting was all he could keep up (if you-know-what-I-mean).

After all the nonsense, I had no desire to indulge in the stupidity of these so-called "men." I went about my business, rocking my single girl swag. I went to the bar with my girlfriends and played cards and had drinks at my house. I was just content with how my life was really going.

One night, I ended up having some shots with a cute guy at the bar. He was another old friend with whom I had reconnected recently. That evening ended with my bestie giving me an out to come back home and play cards. That’s absolutely what our girlfriends are for! A short message was exchanged with the cute guy the next day and, again, that’s all I heard. Continuing on with my life like usual... 

About a month later, cute guy from the bar showed up in my inbox again. We exchanged phone numbers and started texting on a pretty regular basis. Based on all prior experience, I was pretty skeptical about this whole situation. But, I must admit, I sure found him intriguing. Turns out, he’s cute and smart too! Houston! A man with some substance? How am I supposed to handle that after all the creeps I’ve dealt with? Our texting turned into hanging out. Often. We could talk about anything and everything. He made me laugh. A million tabs opened in my head questioning everything at first. Am I ready for this? Did I want it to go further and push outside the boundaries of friends? Just when the hell was he finally going to kiss me?

And then it happened. As I reported to my best friend, “He found his balls. Finally kissed me!” Millions of tabs open again, firing full force. Holy shit! Did that just happen? His lips are soft. Hold up! We need to do that again! Would my brain just shut up?!?

Needless to say, there has been no ghosting or any other stupidity thus far. I think my anti-dating game has come to an end. I may have met my match here. For a long time, I didn’t think I would find that again. I was terribly skeptical about the idea of anyone becoming a big part of my life again. One day at a time is the only way I can face this head-on. But ya' know what? Each day is filled with great conversations, laughter, friends, sangrias, and even sushi.

Maybe the old cliche is true: Quit looking and let it find you.

Take the leap. Jump. Build your wings and learn to fly on the way down. I know I am.

1 comment:

  1. Patricia DequeantMay 25, 2016 at 6:00 PM

    Congrats on your new dating adventure with "Cute Guy". CHEERS! And may he not Casper out.