Friday, April 15, 2016

Guru Jane: Challenge The Idea of A Perfect Life

Dear Guru Jane,

I'm in a rut. On the outside, my life is a dream. Seriously, I have an amazing husband, beautiful and smart children, a successful career, a clean (I have a housekeeper) home, wonderful friends, a fun car, and a hot body! I am an example of a woman who has it all.

Even writing this I realize how crazy it sounds that I should be in a rut, but I just don't know how else to describe it. I feel like somewhere along the line, I lost something. I'm just going through the motions of my "perfect" life, and yet, on so many days, all I want to do is curl up in a ball and hide, or run away from home and become a beach bum.

I don't know if I need perspective, a redo, or what. I just know something has to give, and I'm afraid it might be me. I'm open for any advice or suggestions, because this just can't go on.

Please help!

Light at the End of the Tunnel?!

Dear Light at the End of the Tunnel,

I want to give you a HUGE Jane high-five! Not just for your success, but also for admitting something is just not right. You have taken the first and, sometimes, hardest step - admitting something is wrong. You said on the outside your life is a dream and, in my opinion, one of the challenges we have as women is that if our life appears to be a dream and then we complain, we seem ungrateful. This just isn't true! Everyone has their own "things." Some are big, some are small, but we all have them, and facing them is what true bravery is in life.

So how do we get back on track. I would recommend you go get a full physical. Sometimes natural changes in our body throw us off and we don't even realize it. Get a physical to make sure you are healthy and your hormones, blood pressure, glucose, and the like, are where they should be. If they are not, some changes might need to be made. It's amazing how much our physical health can mess with our mental and emotional well-being.

It sounds like you've already started to look deep, but I recommend you dig a bit deeper. Look at your life and be honest with yourself. Brutally honest. What can stay? What can go? What do you really want? While you can't get rid of things like your kids, you can figure out where balance needs to be brought back to your life.

If you have fallen into the pattern of "being busy," look at what that means. Are they busy things you actually want to do, or are they busy things you have taken on out of guilt or a need for stronger boundaries? Prioritize what YOU (and your family) really want, but more importantly what you need. Be willing to set boundaries and say no to things that just do not feed your soul.

I've said it a million times, but I will say it again. Be willing to disconnect. Cell phones, computers, iPads, even the TV. Look up from the devices and participate in the life and world in front of you.
View your world through your eyes, not through the screen of a camera/phone/iPad. It's amazing how not multitasking makes such a difference.

You said on the outside your life looks like a dream. I challenge you to look at that dream, and decide which part of it is your dream and which part has run out of control. Then be willing to make changes if you think any are needed.

You have proven you are awesome! Continue your awesomeness and prioritize yourself!

You can do it!

Guru Jane

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