Saturday, November 14, 2015

Interviewing Your Date: 20 Years Old vs. 40 Years Old



I know these two great women - a mother and a daughter. They're both smart, beautiful, loving, badass...and single. I was chatting and laughing with them the other day about their dating lives, and it occurred to me how differently they look at the men they date and the things they're interested in finding out about these prospective suitors. It's a fascinating study: The daughter views the men with a certain hope and admiration; with respect and kindness, looking for a sameness and commonality with the men. The mother views men in a more guarded manner - selectively, a little fearful, doubtful, and with a cut and dry sense of purpose. But still with some hope for that commonality and connection. I began to imagine the two different paths their dates would take with their varying approaches. Which questions would these two women ask to try and flesh out if their dates were well-suited for them and would into their lives? Maybe the two could learn a little from each other, I thought, by sharing their "interview questions" with each other. But, undoubtedly, they'd at least get a huge laugh out of it...

On Finances:

Daughter - "I'll have a cheeseburger. So, you work at the mall, right? That's cool. Do you like it? Is it fun?"

Mother - "I'll have the chicken caesar salad. So, what's your FICO score? Do you have any 30-day late pays? What about an AMEX? Got one of those?"



On Job Goals:

Daughter - "Could you pass the ketchup? What do you want to get your degree in? Oh, I love philosophy - it's so interesting."

Mother - "Did you say you're a philosopher? Is that, like, a temporary thing or are you looking for a real job? How long have you been at your current place of employment? Have you ever been fired from a job? Can you afford your bills? I'll have the red wine, please."

On Living Situation:

Daughter - "This cheesecake is amazing. I think it's so smart that you're living at home with your parents so you can be debt-free when you graduate college. And it's let you focus on your studies. Very cool."

Mother - "I don't really eat dessert, but you go ahead. So, are you renting or do you own your home? Oh. You live with your mom? I think my friend is calling - must be an emergency..."

On Children:

Daughter - "Let's go get some coffee! What do you think about kids? Do you think you'll want kids some day? I do, for sure. They're so cute."

Mother - "I have two kids. They're amazing and they're totally my life. Do you have kids? Do you speak to them regularly? Do you see them regularly? Do you pay your child support in full and on time? Just so you know, if you don't, you can pretty much fuck off."

On Meeting His Friends:

Daughter - "I totally love drinking beer and watching baseball - you're friends are so fun!"

Mother - *stalks his friends on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter before she ever agrees to meet them to see what kind of people her date associates with*

On Prior Relationships:

Daughter - "I'm so sorry your ex was so crazy and mean to you. You didn't deserve that."

Mother - "If you can't hold your own with your ex, you definitely can't hold your own with me. She probably left your ass for a reason."

On Health:

Daughter - "I just blew off my doc appointment so we could hang. Yeah, I don't like going to the doctor or dentist either. We are young and healthy, so NBD."

Mother - "I can't meet you for coffee on Tuesday - that's my running day. Do you exercise? Do you eat well? Do you make your own doctor's and dentist's appointments and take care of yourself? I already have two kids. I don't need another one."

On Family:

Daughter - "I know how you feel - moms can be so lame. Mine is always up in my business too."

Mother - "Do you have a good relationship with your mom and sister? How you treat the women in your life will tell me everything I need to know about how you will treat me." *plots to get his phone code so she can call his mom directly/doesn't take his word for it*

On Visiting His Home for the First Time:

Daughter - "Ohhhhh, I love your posters and art. You have great taste!"

Mother - *rummages through medicine cabinet, nightstand, bathroom drawer and the glovebox of his car to find his inner demons*

On Sex:

Daughter - "No, honey, the sex is great. You do a good job." *secretly doubts this is as good as it gets*

Mother - "Ohhhhh, you don't like going down on women because it's not your 'thing?' I'm afraid we have to break up and, no, we can't be friends. Friends go down on each other."


Don't get me wrong - the differences in perspective on dating are hilarious, but it has to make you wonder why women become so jaded about dating as they get older and wiser. Do women's expectations grow and change into loftier, harder-to-reach hurdles? Or is it just that difficult now to find kind, loving, responsible, grown-ass men that handle their responsibilities and stand on their own two feet? Or maybe a little of both?

What do you think, Janes?

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